So THIS hit the innanets this week & had everyone going bat sh*t crazy over the Alien princess. As you can see by the title, I- Me, Myself, Personally- could care less & actually, I’m quite afraid of this “comeback”. I’ve gotten used to seeing her “leaving restaurants” or “leaving *insert high end store here*” and THAT I can handle.

Her singing…not so much

Yes, it has been a peaceful year without new screeching music from the pop princess. My ears already numb to the sound of her past “hits”. So to know that there is a another audio assault creeping up on us makes me want to volunteer to be deported…wait…I was born here so I’d be reported? Moved? F*ck it – you get my point!

I am curious to know how she ever expects the “Alien” comparisons to stop when she pulls stunts like this:


I mean…WTF…nevermind…I’m not one to discuss a problem without a solution so I have some other career opportunities Rihanna could explore that don’t involve dog calling singing:

1. Model- She is a beautiful young lady *no Degeneres*, she’s always having her picture taken, & I’m sure the haute couture designers would be happy to have her in Lindsay Lohan’s place on the runway next year.

2. Author- Her dad was a crackhead, she spent hours in the studio with Jay-Z, on the road with Kanye, & THAT night with Chris Brown…the world wants DETAILS!!

3. Hairstylist…nevermind

4. Mime- She hasn’t made a statement publicly about THAT night with Chris Brown so we know she can keep her trap shut, she could continue with that course of action.